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5 Types of Emotional Vampires to Avoid

Blog, Relationships

August 8, 2018

Your time and energy are a hot commodity. Your schedule and goals keep you busy, so you don’t have time to sacrifice any emotional energy. You need to reserve and spend it on the important people in your life.

There are some people that when you are around them, they seem to suck out all of your energy. Their behaviors, actions, and personalities can leave you feeling drained even if you are only around them for a short time. These people are emotional vampires. They sink their teeth into your emotional energy and leave you empty.

I know it’s impossible to avoid every emotional vampire but identifying them and knowing what to do instead will help. You can’t change anyone, but you do have the ability to create self-change.

When you identify these five types of emotional vampires, you give yourself the power to avoid them as much as possible. You will then feel happier, more rested, and less drained. Here are the emotional vampires to avoid.

The Victim

How to recognize them?

  • They latch onto you and try to get you to see how they are the victim.
  • They turn every situation into how they have been wronged or hurt.
  • When a problem arises, they always blame someone else, and rarely take responsibility.

How to save yourself?

  • When they are telling you how much someone has hurt them be sure to validate that you hear them. You can say that you are sorry they are going through the issue or that it must be tough to experience that.
  • Change the topic to something you would rather discuss.
  • Don’t get emotionally involved in the discussion and keep the topic light.

The Excessive Talker

How to recognize them?

  • They talk constantly, and most of the time it’s about themselves.
  • They rarely ask how you are doing.
  • They are terrible listeners and don’t pick up on social cues.

How to save yourself?

  • Try to avoid conversations with them and don’t ask how they are doing.
  • Don’t ask open-ended questions that involve more than yes or no.
  • Tell them that you only have a limited amount of time and don’t be afraid to end the conversation when you want to.

The Narcissist

How to recognize them?

  • Everything is about them all of the time.
  • They come across as arrogant, full of themselves, or different than others.
  • They lack empathy and understanding but expect you to be this way towards them.

How to save yourself?

  • If you have to be around them, limit your time.
  • Have very low if any expectations of them. Don’t think they will be interested or concerned about what you do.
  • Don’t form an emotional attachment to them. If you want to spend time with them, keep it at a superficial level.

The Negative Nancy

How to recognize them?

  • They always seem to have something wrong or negative happening in their life. This could be real events or their perception of things.
  • When you ask how they are doing, they rarely say “I’m doing good”.
  • They always seem to be in chaos or crisis.

How to save yourself?

  • Limit the amount of time you are around them and the activities that they are involved in.
  • Don’t try and make them feel better or encourage them because it won’t work.
  • Don’t take on their issues, concerns, or problems. You can listen to them but don’t absorb yourself in their emotions because it will negatively affect you.

The Taker

How to recognize them?

  • They are focused only on their needs, wants, and desires.
  • They have very few if any boundaries which allow them to ask for your time, help, or attention.
  • They only take and rarely give. If they do give, then they make a big deal of it and bring it up often.

How to save yourself?

  • Don’t expect to receive anything from this type of person because you will be disappointed.
  • Be direct and say no when they make demands of you. Don’t worry about what they will think.
  • Remember to be logical, not emotional in your interactions.

Since we don’t live in a world that allows us to avoid emotional vampires, it’s your
responsibility to create boundaries to protect yourself. Remember, they won’t change but you can. Don’t continue to feel exhausted by these types of people. It’s time to take action and practice self-care.

How do you handle interactions with emotional vampires? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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A clinical sexologist and psychotherapist. From sex/intimacy, personal growth, and relationships, I am here to help you every step of the way.

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