In my last post, I talked about how to overcome your self-doubt. Now it’s time for you to add a few new tips to help you focus or re-focus on your goal. Have you ever set a goal and felt motivated the first day? Then as the days turn into weeks then into months, your motivation fades. This loss of motivation can lead you to beat yourself up and add to your negative self-talk about how you can’t achieve anything. It’s time to overcome this narrative and put a new plan in place. These 7 tips will help you focus on any goal you want to accomplish.
1. Remember why you set the goal in the first place.
Do you remember you created the goal? Think about how bad you wanted it back then. What led you to want to reach this goal? Why was it important at that time? Do you still want to achieve it? If so, commit to working as hard as you did in the beginning.
Don’t beat yourself up because you feel you have wasted time not working toward your goal. Accept that this is the reality of the situation and you are deciding now to re-commit to your goal. Stop moping and get moving. If your goal is no longer important to you, then dump it, and move to a new one.
2. Are you saying no enough?
One obstacle that may be getting in your way could be your struggle to say no to those that make demands on your time. If you are continuing to say yes and don’t take time to work on yourself, it can be impossible to meet your goal. Try to say no a few times each week. You will be amazed at how much extra time you have in your day.
For example, if your goal is to have a better work-life balance, then you need to get better at saying no to others. Start by identifying why you want a better balance. Is it to decrease stress, spend more time with your family, or have more time for yourself? To work towards this goal, you need to figure out why you want to accomplish it. This will be the motivation that helps you stay on track. Your motivation for your goal will be a reminder of why it is so important.
3. Expect to be lonely at times.
The road to achieving your goal can be a lonely one. It’s hard for people to stay motivated, inspired, and moving forward. Think about your friends, coworkers, and family members. How many of them tell you their goals versus how many accomplish them? Reaching goals can be tough.
This is why so many people don’t reach their goals. The road to success is lonely so don’t be surprised if you are the only one showing up each day working hard towards your success. If it were easy, more people would be doing it.
4. Make sure your deadline is reasonable.
Are you an expert at setting unrealistic deadlines for achieving your goals? It’s not that you want to set yourself up to fail, but you may often think that you have more time in the day than the 24 hours allotted.
For example, if your goal is to complete a home improvement project in four months make sure that it is a realistic time frame. If you are one month into the project and realize that it is impossible to meet your goal date, then you need to adjust your time frame. You may even mentally beat yourself up a bit because you have to move back your deadline. In reality, it doesn’t matter to anyone but you that you had to change your timeline. In your goal setting, don’t set yourself up to fail with an unachievable and unrealistic deadline.
5. Don’t let your fear of failure dominate you.
You don’t want to fail at your goal, and you are fearful that this might happen. However, if you allow your fear of potential failure overwhelm you, then you may become stuck and afraid to take the next step. Your fear that you may fail can be a great excuse for why you can’t accomplish your goal. You are not consciously wanting to fail or using it as an excuse. This happens automatically for many people.
For example, if your goal is to walk/run a 5K next month and you tell yourself that you know you can’t do it because you don’t have enough time to train, then this may be your fear of failure surfacing. If you make a plan to participate in the 5K and you think that you may not be able to accomplish it, then your fear of failure keeps you from taking action to start. You have total control over your fears. You are the only one who can actively work to dial down your fear of failure. Once you do this, then you will be unstoppable in reaching your goal.
6. Make sure you ask for help.
Are you a superhero that can tackle any and everything you face? If you are, then you don’t have any problems reaching your goal. Since you are not, it is time for you to begin to ask for help. Remember, even superheroes ask for help sometimes.
Look at the goal you want to accomplish and ask yourself who can help you reach it quicker. Do you know someone who has achieved a similar goal? Have you seen someone online who has accomplished this goal? Don’t be afraid to reach out for tips, techniques, and assistance from these individuals. If you are worried that you will be judged for asking for help, then you need to get over yourself. Most people are too wrapped up in their drama to judge you. If they do, then it’s their issue, not yours. Reach out, get support, and ask for help.
7. You control what gets in your way.
You have more control in your life than you realize. When you are stressed and overwhelmed it can feel like many things are out of your control. However, in looking at your goal, identify the specific things that you have control of. These are the things that you can keep out of the way that may prevent you from accomplishing your goal.
For example, if your goal is to be more active and lose weight so that you can improve your confidence, then there are many things you have control over. You decide whether you want to do something active today or skip it to relax because you are tired. You don’t take time to meal prep for the week on Sunday because you are busy taking care of everyone else. These are two factors that can quickly get in the way of accomplishing your goal. You are the only one that decides and allows these to interfere. Take accountability and responsibility for what you have control over. This will help you achieve your goal quicker.
You will always have goals that you want to accomplish. Start working smarter and not harder to accomplish them using a few of these tips. What are a few tips that help you achieve your goals? Are there any tips I forgot to mention? Share them with me in the comment section below.
A clinical sexologist and psychotherapist. From sex/intimacy, personal growth, and relationships, I am here to help you every step of the way.