If you are a reflection of the type of people you surround yourself with, what does that say about you? The kind of person you allow to be in your life whether it’s a friendship or relationship says a lot about you.
You are judged by the type of people you are around. Before you say that you don’t care what others think about you, stop and ask yourself if you care who is in your life.
Think about your inner circle. This is the five closest people in your life. They are the ones you spend the most time with, confide in, and reach out to for support. Here are three questions to ask yourself about your inner circle.
1. Is your inner circle helping or hurting you?
There are two types of people you allow in your life. The first type is the person that helps, support, and nurtures your individual growth. These are the people that you don’t have to worry will hurt you or not be there for you. You lean on them when you need help. They aren’t perfect, but they are reliable.
The second type of person is the one that doesn’t add value to your life or even hurts you in some way. Whether it’s the disappointment, sadness, or wasting headspace, they don’t add purpose to your life. You may feel exhausted or depleted by having them in your life.
2. Will you thank these people or kick them to the curb?
Now that you are thinking about your inner circle, you have to decide your next steps. If they support you and add value to your life, don’t miss an opportunity to tell them how grateful you are for them. Thank them for being in your life and don’t take them for granted.
If they aren’t adding love, support or value decide you need to show them the door. You are being judged by your inner circle and you determine what role they will play in your life. Stop caring for these people more than you care about yourself and your needs.
3. Will you continue to grow or refuse to change?
As you are looking at the closest people in your life, you now have to decide if you want to take action to change. Maybe you need to act as better support for them or reach out to assist them in some way. Will you continue to grow as a person by being a good friend?
Your other option is to refuse to change. You can decide that you will wait for others to change. This will leave you frustrated and disappointed. Don’t get stuck in a pity party for yourself or act like a victim. Just as you let them in, you can let them out.
Focus less on what others think and more on what you need to live your best life. You are responsible for nurturing yourself and allowing healthy people into your inner circle. Just as you are responsible for kicking out those people who are not adding to your happiness and only taking it away. What action can you take today to improve your inner circle?
A clinical sexologist and psychotherapist. From sex/intimacy, personal growth, and relationships, I am here to help you every step of the way.